1. The Drunk Man and the Golden Bar
A man came home late one night, drunk.
“Where have you been?” his wife asked.
“At the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and even a golden urinal!” he answered.
His wife found this hard to believe, so she called the bar to check.
“Do you have golden chairs?” she asked.
“Yes,” the person replied.
“Do you have golden glasses?”
“Yes.”
“Do you have golden beer?”
“Yes.”
“Do you also have a golden urinal?”
“Wait a moment,” the person said.
Then she heard him shout to someone nearby, “I think I found the guy who peed in your saxophone!”
2. Bob and the Blonde Woman
Bob entered a sports bar at around 9:58 PM. He sat beside a blonde woman and watched the television.
The 10 PM news was about a man standing on the edge of a tall building, preparing to jump.
The blonde woman asked Bob, “Do you think he will jump?”
“I bet he will,” Bob answered.
“I bet $20 that he won’t,” she said.
Bob placed $20 on the bar and accepted the bet.
Just as they put their money down, the man jumped from the building.
The blonde woman looked disappointed but handed Bob her $20.
“A bet is a bet. Here’s your money,” she said.
Bob replied, “You don’t have to pay me. I already saw this story on the 5 PM news, so I knew he would jump.”
The blonde woman said, “I saw it, too! But I didn’t think he would jump a second time.”
Bob took the money anyway!
3. The Three Drunk Men
Two drunk men were walking together one night.
“What a beautiful night! Look at the moon!” one man said.
His friend looked up and disagreed.
“That’s not the moon. That’s the sun!”
They argued for a while until they met another drunk man.
They asked him, “Sir, can you help us settle an argument? Look at that bright object in the sky. Is it the moon or the sun?”
The third man looked up at the sky and replied:
“Sorry, I don’t live around here!”
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