Not Everyone Who is Listening to You Cares

It is usual for us to want to share. We want to share our thoughts, feelings and opinions. It is in our nature to want to talk things out. Man as a creature was not created to be a solitary being. Man was created to seek the presence of other men. Our need to connect and relate makes it understandable that we will find ourselves sharing bits of information about us with people.

Depending on our nature and the relationship we have with them, we might share a lot with them or just bits and pieces. There is nothing wrong with sharing, but the human nature can also be mean. Life has taught us that not everyone who is willing to listen to us has a genuine concern or care. Sometimes, people pretend to care and listen to you so that they can get fodder for their gossip. We have to learn to either discern the people who genuinely care about us and those who just want to get something they can gossip about. Agreed, we should be able to talk to the people in our lives without worry or fear of them spreading whatever they have heard from us. We shouldn’t have to worry if the problem we have shared with our friends or family is going to be the topic of discussion at the next gathering. Sadly, that is not how life works. We find out that the people who are supposed to be close to us are the ones who usually hang us out to dry. We sometimes learn our lesson and keep our thoughts to ourselves, but we find ourselves driven by the need to share and still end up sharing our secrets with people who will use them as gossip fodder. When you feel the need to share, remember that not everyone with whom you are sharing with really cares. Some of them are in it for the information they can get from you, and if you cannot live with the thought of being the topic of discussion, avoid sharing so much. Not everyone will be lucky to have friends they can confidently confide in without the fear of having their secrets shared as gossip. Those who do should be grateful for that beautiful gift because it is rare. What about those who do not have someone they can talk to? Funny as it sounds, there are people who prefer to talk to God rather than to humans, and if you do not believe in a God, a therapist or accountability partner is a great option too. Gossip destroys. Gossip is powerful and destructive. It sounds juicy to hear and share tidbits of people’s lives, but we are hurting them by putting their secrets out there. We will not enjoy being the topic of gossip, so we should also avoid talking about people’s secrets. Whatever a friend has shared with you should be private and confidential. When people bring other people’s conversations to the table, kindly decline. Break the circle.

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