To err is human, to forgive is divine, to forget? I am not really sure what that is.
There is a phrase that is regularly thrown around, “forgive and forget.”
I have always wondered how easy it is to forget.
The forgiveness part, I understand. Long ago, I had problems forgiving people who hurt me. I held on to the pain, afraid to let go, hurting and angry, unwilling to open up to anyone.
I can tell you it did not do wonders for me. I soon realized that my inability to forgive was causing me a lot of pains, psychological growth problems, and even heartburn. I knew I needed to learn to let go, but I couldn’t figure out how to not get hurt by the same person again.
When I first learned how to forgive, I thought I would automatically forget what the person had done to me and move on. I did not, and it made me sink into a state of depression. I figured that if I didn’t forget the hurt, I haven’t forgiven them.
It took me a while to realize that it did not work that way.
Over the years, I have come to better understand how it works. When I forgive a person, it simply means I have let go, there is no pain or hurt, and even if it is still there, I do not hold it against them.
Even though I have forgiven the person, I most likely will have issues with trusting them again, and that is okay.
I try not to use what a person has done as a yardstick, but I choose to be careful.
I forgive because that’s what we are supposed to do. Not only does it make us feel better, but it also removes all the toxins we secrete when we harbor unforgiveness.
In forgiving people who have hurt us, we take back the power that they took when they hurt us. Forgiveness helps you take charge of your heart. It gives you the power to move on.
I forgive so that I can let go and move on.
There is nothing to gain from marinating in a pool of unforgiveness.
Rather than stew over what a person has done to me, I simply forgive them and walk away.
I may not be able to forget soon enough to let them back in, but at the very least, I can forgive them and be free from hatred.
You might not know it, but unforgiveness fosters negativity. Nothing good thrives in the face of negativity. The negativity will feed into your bitterness and anger, and soon, you are a hot mess of emotions, who is driven by anger.
No one can thrive with negativity and bitterness swirling inside them.
I choose to forgive people, not because I find their behavior acceptable or because I trust them. It is simply because, as decent human births, we should learn to forgive and let go.
That is the only way to move in with our lives.