I Decided to See What Happens if I Stop Texting First

Relationships usually are meant to be 2-way. They are supposed to be give and take . That is the whole point of being in a relationship. Regardless of who the relationship is with, every party in it has to play their part in keeping the relationship alive. You will be surprised to know the number of persons who are in one-sided relationships. They are the ones who are giving and are not receiving anything in return. I have been in such relationships before, and I had to learn my lesson. The giver. In every abnormal relationship, there is always the giver and the receiver.

The giver is the person who seems to be doing the most in the relationship. They are skin the most not because they have the most, and they are doing the most because it is their nature. The receiver is always taking. They do little or nothing but take. Whatever the giver is willing to give, they are taking. Sometimes they even make demands. In a lot of my relationships, I have been the giver. I have given my money, my time, and resources. Over time, I find myself giving a lot without receiving anything. I didn’t realize I was the only giving for a long time. It took a while for me to realize that I was the making efforts.

Imagine not getting a text or call checking up on you. When I stopped texting first, I noticed that communication between a lot of my friends and I ceased. It became obvious that i was the giver—the one who was keeping the relationship alive. A realization like this has a way of putting the relationships you have into perspective. Suddenly it hits you: you are the giver, the one who is pulling and pushing. I must admit that knowing this made me feel used and unappreciated. No one likes to be used. Everyone likes to know that they are appreciated and important in their relationships. With the lack of communication, most of these relationships faded away. I felt a lot of hurt when they faded away. On the one hand, I was hurting from the knowledge that they never really cared. On the other hand, I was hurting because I was losing friendships and relationships that meant a lot to me. Yes, I knew it didn’t mean much to them, but it meant something to me, and losing them did hurt for a while. That is the thing with losing something or someone: you get over it. Slowly the hurting begins to fade, and it no longer hurts as bad as it used to.

A balanced relationship

Does this mean I will no longer text my friends? No. I have learned to know the difference between a healthy balanced relationship and a one-sided relationship. I commit to all my relationships fully. I have learned to walk away from unhealthy relationships. Meeting people who are willing to have a 2-way relationship has helped me find balance and joy. Now I am the giver and also a receiver.