For the last two years, my husband kept surprising me by telling me at the last minute that his family was coming over. He’d say they were just “dropping by,” but really, it meant I had to clean the house, cook, and host—without any time to get ready. I went along with it before, but not this time. It was a calm Saturday morning, and I was finally relaxing when he walked in, smirking, and said, “My family’s coming in four hours.”
He said it was “just a small thing,” then gave me a list of chores I had to do—clean the kitchen, buy groceries, cook dinner and dessert, and even clean the baseboards! I was shocked. Meanwhile, he sat on the couch like a king, ready to relax while I did everything. But instead of fighting, I smiled and said, “Okay, I’ll go to the store.” I grabbed my purse, drove to Target, got a coffee, walked around, and took my time doing nothing important at all.
For once, I wasn’t rushing around trying to please everyone. I texted him, “Still at the store. Traffic’s crazy.” When I finally came home, the place was a mess—kids yelling, rooms half-cleaned, a burnt frozen pizza on the table, and my husband looking stressed while trying to make a store-bought cheesecake look fancy. His shocked face when he saw me was priceless. “Where have you been?” he asked.
I poured myself a glass of wine, sat down, and calmly said, “You told me to go to the store, so I did.” That night, I didn’t do anything. His mom looked like she was judging me, but I didn’t care. It was the first time I didn’t wear myself out for his plans. Later, he got upset. “You embarrassed me,” he said. I told him, “You put everything on me again and still wanted praise. This doesn’t feel like a team—it feels like a job I never signed up for.”
To my surprise, the next morning he cleaned the kitchen on his own. A few weeks later, he actually asked if we could plan the next family visit together. It wasn’t perfect, but it was progress. And since then? He hasn’t sprung any surprise visits on me again. Lesson learned.