When Eric insisted on paying for our first date, I thought he was a real gentleman.
He brought roses, gave a nice gift, and we had a fun conversation — he seemed perfect.
The next day, I got a text from him, and instead of something sweet, it made my stomach sink.
My best friend Mia had good intentions when she set me up, but she had no real experience in matchmaking.
“He’s really nice, Kelly! A total gentleman. You’re going to like him,” Mia said excitedly over the phone while I searched through my closet.
“You’ve never set me up with anyone before,” I said. “Why do you think you know what kind of guy I like?”
“Because I know you better than anyone,” she said confidently. “And Chris says he’s a great guy too. They’ve been friends for a long time.”
That made me stop and think. Chris, Mia’s boyfriend, was usually good at reading people. If he liked Eric, maybe he really was a good guy.
“Alright,” I said with a sigh. “At least show me what he looks like.”
A second later, I got a message.
The guy in the photo looked pretty good: neat, stylish, and his smile seemed genuine.
“Okay, he’s cute,” I said.
“Told you!” Mia squealed. “Text him and make plans. You won’t regret it, I swear.”
After a few light messages, I agreed to have dinner with Eric at a new Italian restaurant by the river. It wasn’t super fancy, but it was nice enough for a first date.
I got there five minutes early and waited by the entrance, like we’d planned. I was nervously checking my reflection on my phone when I saw him walking up to the restaurant.
My heart sped up a little. The picture was accurate — he looked good, dressed in a clean and casual style, and walked with confidence.
What I didn’t expect was the bouquet of roses he was holding.
And not just cheap flowers from the supermarket — it was a beautiful bouquet, professionally arranged and tied with a ribbon.
“You must be Kelly,” he said, giving me that same warm smile from the photo. “These are for you.”
“Wow, thank you,” I said, honestly surprised as I took the flowers. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to start the evening on a good note,” he said with a smile.
But that wasn’t all.
He reached into his jacket and pulled out a small gift box with a light blue bow on it.
“What’s this?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.
“Just a little gift. Go ahead, open it,” he said.
Inside was a shiny silver keychain with the letter “K” engraved on it. It was simple but thoughtful—clearly something he’d put effort into.
“Something just for you,” he said smoothly. “I asked Mia what you might like.”
I was honestly impressed. Bringing flowers and a thoughtful gift on a first date? He was clearly trying to make a strong impression. Either he was really into me, or he just knew how to charm someone right away.
“This is really sweet of you,” I said, genuinely moved. “Thank you.”
Eric kept up his gentlemanly behavior the whole time. He opened the door for me, pulled out my chair, and kept good eye contact while we talked.
He asked smart questions about my job as a graphic designer, remembered small things I’d mentioned about my family over text, and made me feel like I was the most interesting person there.
“So, what made you agree to this setup?” he asked after we ordered our food.
“Mia can be pretty convincing,” I laughed. “And both she and Chris spoke highly of you, which doesn’t happen often.”
“They’re a great pair,” he agreed. “Chris and I go way back to college. He’s always been a solid guy.”
From there, the conversation just flowed.
We found out we both liked true crime podcasts and weird documentaries about unusual communities.
He shared funny stories about his job as a marketing manager, and I started thinking this might be the best first date I’d ever been on.
When the bill came, I reached for my purse.
“No way,” Eric said firmly, putting his card down before I even had the chance. “The man always pays on the first date.”
The way he said it caught me off guard — not just polite, but like it was a strict rule he always followed.
I hesitated for a moment, then said, “Okay, if you’re sure. Thanks.”
I wasn’t going to argue over a free dinner, especially after such a great evening. We left the restaurant together, and he asked if he could call me soon.
“I’d like that,” I said — and I really meant it.
He gave me a hug goodbye — friendly and respectful, not weird — and I drove home smiling, thinking it had been one of the best first dates ever.
The next morning, I saw a message from Eric. Half-asleep, I expected a sweet text saying he had a good time — but instead, there was an attachment.
I made myself some coffee, got back in bed, and opened it, thinking it was maybe a photo from dinner or something simple.
It was an invoice. A real-looking, professionally made bill.
At the top, in bold letters, it said:
Date Night Invoice – Amount Due: 1 Outstanding Balance
Below that was a full list of “services” with what he expected in return.
At first, I thought it had to be a joke — some strange sense of humor. But the more I read, the more sick I felt.
The things he listed were completely ridiculous and made me rethink everything I thought about his polite behavior.
- Bouquet of Roses: 1 hug
- Custom Keychain Gift: 1 coffee date (within a week)
- Opening Car Door: A cute selfie together
- Pulling Out Chair: Holding hands next time
- Good Conversation & Listening: A compliment about his looks
- Paying for Dinner: A second date, no excuses
But the worst part was what he wrote at the bottom — and it made it clear he was being totally serious.
Payment is expected in full. No refunds. If not paid, the balance may be sent to collections (Chris will hear about it).
Looking forward to your prompt payment!
I couldn’t believe it.
It would’ve been bad enough if he had asked for money. But this? Expecting hugs, dates, compliments — like I owed him those things? Who does that?
I took a screenshot and sent it to Mia right away. She replied immediately:
“OH. MY. GOD. I’M SHOWING THIS TO CHRIS RIGHT NOW.”
“Is this even real???” I texted back, still shocked. “He actually means it!”
“Wait till Chris sees this. He’s going to LOSE IT,” Mia replied.
Five minutes later, my phone rang — it was Chris, laughing so hard he could barely speak.
“Kelly, I can’t believe this,” he said between laughs. “I’ve known this guy for years, and never in a million years did I think he’d pull something this ridiculous.”
“So it’s not a joke?” I asked.
“Definitely not,” Chris said. “Eric’s always been kind of… extra when it comes to dating, but this is just wild. We have to get back at him.”
Chris was a genius when it came to petty revenge.
Instead of just roasting Eric in their group chat, he decided to take it further.
“I’m making a copycat invoice,” he said. “Same style, fake legal lingo, totally over-the-top charges.”
An hour later, Chris sent me his version — and it had me cracking up.
Service Invoice – Amount Due: A Lifetime of Silence
- Introducing You to a Gorgeous Woman: 1 permanent block on all platforms
- Convincing Her You Were a Gentleman: Deep reflection on why you’re still single
- Letting You Sit at the Same Table as Her: A formal apology to every woman you’ve dated
- Not Posting This All Over the Internet: A generous favor you should be thankful for
Payment is due IMMEDIATELY. Failure to comply may result in public humiliation. Cheers!
“This is perfect,” I texted him. “Send it!”
“Sent it!” Chris replied shortly after.
Not long after, my phone started blowing up with angry texts from Eric.
“Wow, real mature of you.”
“I was just trying to be honest; not everyone has money to burn.”
“Chris is a horrible friend.”
“You just passed up an amazing guy.”
I didn’t respond. What was the point in talking to someone who treated dating like a business deal? I just sent a thumbs-up emoji and blocked him.
Later that night, Mia called, still laughing about everything.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. “I really thought he was a normal guy. Even Chris didn’t know he was like this.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, surprised at how okay I felt. “At least we’ve got a great story to tell.”
“Exactly,” she laughed. “This one’s going to be shared at every party for the next ten years.”
That whole situation taught me one big lesson about dating: if a guy insists on paying, make sure he’s not planning to charge you for it later.
As for the keychain? I kept it—not because it reminded me of Eric, but because it was the perfect souvenir from the strangest date I’ve ever had.