At first, he seemed like the perfect guy from a romantic movie—sweet messages, fresh roses, and polite manners anyone would admire. Eric’s actions felt planned and flawless. But the next morning ruined it all. Instead of something cute like a playlist or poem, he sent me a PDF that shocked me—an itemized bill for our date. It listed “charges” for every nice thing he’d done: a rose for a kiss, holding the door for a selfie, dinner in exchange for a second date. At the bottom, it said in bold: “Payment due in full. No refunds.”
Wow. Let me explain. I’d been single for a while, and my best friend Mia wanted to set me up with someone nice. She introduced me to Eric—her boyfriend’s friend—who she said was kind, mature, and emotionally smart. After a few messages, we agreed to have dinner. The date seemed great—he was funny, engaging, and we had interesting conversations about everything from true crime podcasts to why I think ketchup shouldn’t be stored in the fridge. He paid for dinner and even gave me a “good luck” keychain, which felt thoughtful.
But then came the invoice. I sent it to Mia, who showed it to her boyfriend, Chris. He was shocked but amused, and made a parody invoice charging Eric for “emotional distress to womankind,” “fake chivalry,” and “delusional entitlement.” We sent it back to Eric. He didn’t find it funny—he called me immature, said I didn’t “understand real men,” and accused me of being “too modern to appreciate effort.” I blocked him immediately. Mia felt bad, but I told her it wasn’t her fault. Now, it’s just an inside joke we laugh about over wine and cheese.
The lesson? If someone treats kindness like payment and charm like a bargaining chip, that’s not romance—it’s business. And I’m not for sale. That night reminded me to trust my instincts, laugh at the ridiculous, and protect my boundaries. Eric wasn’t looking for a real connection—he came with a scorecard. He might have wanted a “return on investment,” but all he got was a roast and a blocked number. In dating, not every “gentleman” is genuine—but with good friends, humor, and self-respect, I left with nothing but a story I’ll always remember.