Navigating relationships with mothers-in-law is frequently challenging. You can’t choose his parents, even though you can choose your spouse. However, when grandchildren enter the picture, this difficult relationship can be strengthened. It’s possible that the mother-in-law has other ideas for how the children should be raised. On the other hand, some of the mother-in-law might need assistance raising the child. In fact, many do so because it’s hard to find good babysitters. However, watching the grandchildren while their parents are at work is not the same as receiving occasional visits from them. The second scenario is presented by this mother, who states that her mother-in-law “expects her to be paid to babysit.”
How dare she ask for money to spend so much time with her grandchildren?
Amy writes to us to say that she and her husband have been married for ten years. She and her husband have a healthy baby boy who is six months old. Both parents are employed full-time. While her husband works from home, she works in the office. Her mother-in-law, on the other hand, took a step back and offered to look after the child while the couple worked. Amy explained that “she has a way with children” and they happily agreed. “I really appreciate her time, dedication, and everything she does,” she continues. She also cooks and cleans, in addition to looking after the child.
Amy, on the other hand, was surprised when her mother-in-law “Dared” asking for payment per hour. She had no right to ask for money when she was spending so much time with her grandson. Mom ought to be paid, according to Amy’s husband. After all, they would probably pay even more if they hired a professional. Amy, on the other hand, has no idea what to do.
When The Mother-in-law Takes Care of the Children
Taking care of a grandparent’s children has many advantages. Most importantly, you can rest easy knowing that your kids are getting enough love and attention. The idea of hiring someone who isn’t familiar with them frightens many parents. This applies to regular or full-time childcare, as Amy and her mother-in-law had. This does not apply to grandparents who occasionally babysit, usually unpaid, which may be Amy’s confusion.
First and foremost, many people are uncomfortable discussing money. Some grandparents may believe they ought to be paid more, but they never ask for this taboo benefit. As a result, it’s best to have an open discussion about this. Keep in mind that babysitting, even for their grandchildren, is a job that requires you to prioritize certain tasks and adhere to a schedule at the expense of other interests and commitments. The idea of paying a salary may make many grandparents cringe, but they may change in time.
However, the purpose of this conversation is to express gratitude for the grandparents’ dedication and time. It is very important to show gratitude on a regular basis with words and gifts. Gift cards, thank-you cards, baked goods, flowers, homework help, or bills are all examples of this. Grandparents may feel exploited if they take these services for granted or feel entitled to them. Resentment can result, which can damage a relationship. These negative outcomes can be avoided by having an open discussion of expectations, expressing gratitude, and offering a reward for your time and effort. Respecting the grandparents’ need for relaxation and recreation is also included.
How Much Should You Pay?
Make sure the instructions are clear if the grandparent wants money back. Choose the payment amount. This can be determined by looking at how much money babysitters in your area make. Don’t forget to take into account the number of children, their ages, any special needs, and whether the grandparents will help with housework like cleaning, cooking, shopping, and taking the kids to activities. When the payment will be made, decide., every day, week, month, etc. As needed, provide vacation time and vacation pay. Also, don’t forget to pay grandparents back for “business expenses” like gas, activities, food, toys, and so on.
Empathy and appreciation go hand in hand. The arduous nature of child care is something that only parents are aware of. If the grandparent finds this difficult, you make it easier for them by planning activities that don’t require as much physical strength or endurance, like going to the playground or watching a movie. If a grandparent struggles with stairs, bring all of the supplies they need to the main floor. Parents should be informed of any health issues, particularly those that could harm them or their children, like memory problems or seizures.
Maintain constant communication
Additionally, it is essential for children to be aware that the grandparent is accountable. They might be accustomed to being spoilt by grandpa and grandma; However, they must be aware that they must adhere to the same guidelines as their parents, such as doing their homework, not eating sweets before meals, and going to bed on time.
Also, don’t feel bad if your grandparents are unable to watch your children at times. For situations like these, keep a list of other babysitters. Mothers, grandmothers, fathers, and mother-in-law all have their own lives and schedules, so taking care of grandchildren ought to be a joy rather than a burden. If they don’t want to watch the kids or if they have other important work to do, tell them to be honest. In general, grandparents and parents need to talk openly and often in order to avoid misunderstandings and keep the arrangement working out well for everyone.