In a crowd, a man took a lemon and squeezed it completely.
He said, “If anyone can get even a drop from this lemon, I’ll give $100.”
Many people tried, but no one could get any juice.
Finally, a man came and squeezed out two drops.
The first man blinked in surprise and asked, “Who are you?”
The second man said, “I’m an income tax officer.”
The Texan and the tampons
A Texan walked around a pharmacy. The salesgirl asked if she could help, and he said he wanted tampons for his wife. She showed him the right aisle.
A few minutes later, he put a big bag of cotton balls and some string on the counter. The salesgirl asked, confused, “Weren’t you getting tampons?”
He explained, “Well, yesterday I sent my wife to get cigarettes, and she came back with tobacco and rolling paper. So I figured, if I have to roll my own, she can too!”
The woman, the keys, and the biker
A woman got a call that her daughter was sick. She went to the pharmacy, but when she returned to her car, she realized she locked her keys inside. She saw an old coat hanger and didn’t know how to use it.
She prayed for help. Soon, a beat-up motorcycle pulled up, and a bearded man asked if he could help. She asked him to unlock her car with the hanger. In less than a minute, the car was open.
She hugged him, crying, and said, “Thank you! You’re so kind.”
The man said, “Lady, I’m not kind. I just got out of prison yesterday for car theft.”
She hugged him again and cried, “Thank you, God! You even sent a professional!”