I’m going through something really tough, and I feel lost. My best friend, “Rachel,” and I have been close for 20 years. We’ve shared everything—good times, hard times, and now the joy of planning my wedding. She’s like a sister to me, and I’ve always trusted her. I’ve been with my fiancé, “Tom,” for three years, and he’s always been respectful and supportive of my friendship with Rachel.
A few weeks ago, we were all hanging out at my place after a night out. I went to bed early because I was tired, leaving Rachel and Tom watching a movie in the living room. A little while later, Tom came into the bedroom looking upset and told me that Rachel had leaned in and tried to kiss him. He said he pulled back right away, and Rachel apologized, saying it was because she’d had too much to drink.
I feel deeply hurt and betrayed. If Tom’s telling the truth, then my closest friend tried to kiss my fiancé. But if I bring it up with Rachel and it wasn’t that serious, I could end our friendship for good. Part of me wants to give her the benefit of the doubt, but another part thinks I should end the friendship to keep my relationship with Tom safe. I keep replaying that night, wondering if I missed any signs that Rachel might have feelings for him.
Since then, Rachel has been acting oddly—she gives short answers, has nervous laughs, and avoids eye contact. She hasn’t mentioned that night, and neither has Tom. Whenever I try to ask her about it, I hesitate, afraid of what she might say. I’m worried that if she admits it was on purpose, I won’t be able to forgive her, but if she denies it, I’ll still have doubts.
The wedding planning is making things even more stressful, and I can’t picture going through it without Rachel by my side. But I can’t shake the feeling that I’m missing something important. Judy, should I talk to her about it, or should I try to move on for the sake of my friendship and relationship?