A woman’s life changes dramatically after 13 years of marriage when her husband suddenly asks for a separation and wants her to move across the country with him. She discovers he has been hiding a secret relationship with an old friend, leading her to a surprising decision.
On February 3, 2024, a woman shared a dramatic story about her 13-year marriage. Her husband, who seemed happy at first, became frustrated with his job and decided to apply for a job across the country.
Shortly after, he unexpectedly and harshly suggested they separate. The woman felt his reaction was extreme and unfair, despite their past issues.
In the weeks that followed, the woman found out her husband was constantly texting an old friend who had recently divorced and helped him get the potential job. They exchanged over 500 texts a day, totaling around 24,000 in a month.
People online mostly supported the woman, saying she was “not the a**hole” for how she handled her husband’s betrayal and deceit.
The husband had a definite plan: he wanted to relocate their entire family—OP, his mother, and their two young children—to a new place. OP thought about all the times she had already moved for his education and job. She said, “Moving away from our kids’ school and friends, and leaving my job and friends behind, is unacceptable,” showing how upset she was about the idea.
When her husband traveled for a supposed one-day job interview that extended to four days, tensions escalated. During this time, OP found evidence suggesting he planned to have a sexual relationship.
When she asked him about it upon his return, he admitted he had been unhappy for 15 years. Learning this made OP question if she was to blame. She started thinking about divorcing him and seeking custody of their children so they could stay in their current state.
Referring to his own childhood without a father, her husband emphasized how important it was for their children to have him around. He also said that she was essential for the kids’ well-being.
Online comments to OP’s story were mostly critical, with many calling her “not the a**hole” (NTA) for how she handled her husband’s deceit and plans. Her online community rallied around her, offering support and analyzing the situation.
One commentator remarked, “He’s upset because you caught on and got legal advice. It seems like he wanted to move you all and then tie the kids down to his new location, leaving you stranded.”
Another supporter said, “Great job! You’re definitely NTA! He’s having an affair and trying to disrupt everyone’s lives.”
A third commenter added, “NTA—no way should you move just for him to divorce you afterward. Get a divorce now before he quits his job.”
What do you think about this story? Is it fair for OP’s husband to ask for a separation while also pushing for a cross-country move? If you were in OP’s situation, how would you react? Would you agree with her husband’s decisions or not?