Dear Wife,
I am writing this letter to inform you that I will never return. I have been a nice man to you for seven years. As a result, nothing has changed for me.
The past two weeks have been a nightmare. When your manager notified me of your resignation today, it was the final blow.
You got back home last week. You had no idea that I had made your favorite dish or given you a new haircut. I even wore another sets of silk boxers.
You ate quickly and fell asleep immediately after watching all of your television shows.
You don’t want to have sex with me or do anything else to bond with me, and you don’t show me how much you love me. I’m leaving, whether you’re cheating on me or have stopped loving me.
Your Ex-Husband,
PS: Please do not go anywhere to find me, because Im Leaving Together with your sister, I’m moving to West Virginia! Enjoy your life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
More than anything else, reading your letter has brightened my day. You haven’t exactly been the great man you think you were for our seven years of marriage.
I enjoy watching shows on television because they prevent all of your constant whining. It is unfortunate that it does not always work.
Even though I knew you had a haircut the week before, my first thought was, “You look just like a girl!”
I didn’t say anything because my mother taught me to keep my mouth shut if you had nothing nice to say. Since I stopped eating pork seven years ago, you must have thought I was my sister when you cooked my favorite meal.
Regarding the newly introduced silk boxing shorts: I prayed that the fact that my sister had just received a $50 loan from me that morning and that they still had a $49.99 price tag on them was just a coincidence when you turned.
I still loved you and believed we could come to an agreement despite everything. After winning $10 million in the lottery, I quit my job and bought two tickets for our trip to Jamaica. However, you weren’t there when I got home.
I suppose that everything has a reason. I want you to live the life you’ve always wanted to be happy. My lawyer says that the letter you wrote says that you won’t get any money from me. So, best of luck.
Your ex-wife, free and extremely wealthy!
PS: My sister Carla was actually born Carl, although I’m not sure if I ever mentioned it to you. I’m hoping that won’t be a problem.
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