An Australian educator who teaches about sexuality has sparked a lot of discussion online after suggesting that parents should ask their babies for permission before changing their diapers.
Deanne Carson believes that teaching consent should begin from birth. Her comments caused both curiosity and confusion online. Some people questioned the idea, with one person jokingly asking whether pet owners should also ask their cats for permission before cleaning their litter boxes.
As parenting methods continue to change, the idea of consent is now being discussed in situations such as diaper changes.
Asking a baby for permission before changing a dirty diaper may seem unrealistic because babies cannot yet speak or clearly respond.
However, Carson says the goal is not to get a direct answer. Instead, it is about helping children learn about consent, respect, and personal boundaries from a very young age.
According to Carson, creating a culture that values consent should start as early as birth.
Deanne Carson says the purpose of asking a baby before changing a diaper is to show respect for the child’s body and personal space. Parents can explain what they are doing by saying things like, “I’m going to change your diaper now, okay?” and then pause to observe the baby’s reactions, facial expressions, or body language.
Building Trust and Communication
Carson explains that the goal is not to get a spoken “yes” from the baby. Instead, it is about creating a habit of communication and showing children that their feelings and reactions matter.
She said that babies obviously cannot answer with words, but when parents pause, make eye contact, and pay attention to the baby’s body language, they help the child feel heard and respected.
Many child development experts agree that responding to a baby’s non-verbal signals—such as smiles, sounds, movements, or facial expressions—is an important part of healthy communication. Carson believes that involving babies in diaper changes this way can help them become more aware of what is happening around them.
Criticism of the Idea
However, not everyone agrees with this approach. Some critics believe babies are too young to understand the idea of consent.
Rowan Dean called the idea of asking a baby’s permission before changing a diaper unrealistic and unnecessary.
John Rosemond also strongly criticized the suggestion, saying it could confuse families rather than help them.
Online, Carson’s comments sparked a lot of debate. Many social media users made jokes about the idea and questioned whether it made sense.
One user commented that when a baby cries because of a dirty diaper, that already shows they want it changed, and could even be seen as a clear request rather than something that needs permission.
Many people online strongly disagreed with the idea. One person said that an “expert” who thinks parents should ask a baby’s permission before changing a diaper probably has little experience raising children.
Another person compared the idea to asking a cat for permission before cleaning its litter box, arguing that if a baby has a dirty diaper, parents should simply change it right away. Someone else said that leaving a baby in a dirty diaper could be considered neglect, and questioned whether asking for consent should ever delay necessary care.
However, some people supported Deanne Carson and felt that her intentions were positive, even if they did not fully agree with her example.
One supporter said that babies and toddlers begin learning communication long before they can speak, and that showing them respect cannot cause harm. Another person believed Carson was trying to encourage conversations about consent, but felt she had taken the idea too far because babies cannot truly give consent. Others agreed with her approach, saying that talking to babies and creating a respectful family environment is beneficial.
In the end, the debate highlighted different views on parenting. Some parents see asking for consent as a way to teach respect and build trust, while others believe it is enough to communicate with their baby, pay attention to their needs, and respond with proper care.
The discussion continues, but many people agree that being attentive, respectful, and communicative with infants is important, regardless of whether parents choose to frame it as consent.